I'mmm Back!!

 I'm testing this to see if Id like to return to it - if you're a subscriber: " hi there" I'm still quilting and am getting back to it. I'm kinda excited about what I'm doing,  plans for the future,  reconnecting building new community. 
When I was a kid my Mother used to ask me "What did you do for Sharing and Caring?" this was shorthand for "How did you share your blessings Today? What did you do to impact another in a positive way TODAY?" I was raised to be a blessing to others everyday,  and seek to provide comfort to those who suffered. every. single. day. Still today, I find my greatest joy in Acts of Service. For the last couple of decades I have given freely, without much thought of to who or how I was giving.
Caring and Sharing is something I work at and review everyday. It was also some sort of insurance my mom was building into me, a resume of Good Deeds and Happy Outcomes that I could look at when I was low or when I was being attacked.  A place to ground myself.

My Mother did it as well, I remember her buying a new tire for someone who had just got a new job.  He took the bus the first few days,  hoping with his first paycheck he could buy a tire and drive his motorcycle.  He was going to every one he knew asking for help, he barely had money for bus fare and the stress of it all was eating him alive. so much anxiety.  Resources were scarce back then, we lived in a 700sqft apt and it would have been generous to call us Poor. But my mom went down to local service station, struck a deal, and paid for a tire.  She helped him get over the hump and it made a real difference in his life.  Only 3 other people knew what she did, her partner at the Service Station, the person who got the tire, and me. Now,  I tell people about it all the time, its my "tell", its what I tell people to distract them when asking me questions about what I just did. I tell them she's my motivation, my example.  Then I tell them how important partners are and I carefully shift focus to the recipient. Isn't it great? Now he'll be able to get to work and he is such a hard worker, any employer would be lucky to have him. He's great!  Mom was great at it, I'm not as good. 

A few years ago, I became very ill and will most likely not recover completely. Ever. Its taken some getting used to.   My husband was diagnosed with a neurological disorder that was manageable in midlife, but has deepened and changed with age. We needed better management tools.  He also retired. And my Mother has moved to Memory Care. and the Election happened. Seriously, I have never felt so alone as I have these last couple of years.
 I have also felt "Unknown".  Because I don't toot my own horn, people don't see what I'm doing and some of my "partners" are motivated to keep credit for themselves or minimize my contributions.  Not only have people assumed I'm an idiot who doesn't understand what shes doing but some find joy in making fun of me to my face. I have retreated and ceded space to them as a response. Spaces I helped build.  I'm in the process of fixing this.

I have new goals. Quilting is still my creative outlet and I'll be working to create an inclusive, sustainable, non consumer model for building quilts and community. It will based on creative expression, skills practice and networking.  Hopefully,  it will feed into a non-profit that sends/supports women in completing higher education or wealth building.  All the deets aren't clear yet but I'm confident in my skills, my resume is rich with positive outcomes and I've already been budget building for a couple years.

So, if that's not of interest to you  unsubscribe and move along. bubye.  I hope you'll choose to stay but only, if you can show me compassion and empathy about my chronic condition. If you want to join with me or merely watch, stay. tell your friends.  be nice.
 I won't be asking for money, I might sell stuff but I wont be trying to sell it to you. I want support and encouragement. I want good ideas and good humor. caring and sharing.  "show and tells" instead of "show and sells"
So this test blog post is done. I'll be changing the name of the blog and I'm sure I'll update the look.
stay tuned! love you